yearning
she yearns for skin-to-skin contact, specifically, for his hand on the base of her spine. seems he only strokes her back when he's In The Mood. she'd be in the mood a lot more if she didn't have to wait for this touch, but although she asks, reminding him, he never seems to remember.
she hugs him tight, breathing through his shoulder. his clothes smell nice. she whispers in his ear. he's got a mouthful of her hair now so he spits it out, pulls away. opportunities lost.
she wants to hold his hand more often but their mismatched heights make it awkward. walking up the steep track from the jetty, the path strewn with splintered seed pods, she has to watch her step, needs both arms to flail for balance. he, sturdier, plods steadily on.
she remembers when they first met, or the third or fourth date, and how she could pick each of his traits and say exactly who it was like. so, with the red cap, he bears more resemblance to JM, but when he's cracking a joke at her expense (in the nicest possible way), he's more like D.
he is, in this way, an interesting mix. she'd never have picked that particular combination, had she the power. a bit more of Pat, or Graeme, if she'd been choosing. but still, he's a marvel, the way all the aspects blend together, making him like a bit of everyone else, but still himself. it's like the ones that went before were just training, so she'd recognise him when she finally found him.
she considers all the little coincidences, like names and phone numbers, and names of friends and where people lived, and who turned out to know whom against all likelihood, and how she hated coincidences for years, because it seemed like the world was always having a laugh at her expense (and not in a nice way at all).
she spent so many years looking for something and not finding it (that template problem again), and then the one time she really wasn't looking for it, she found it. it never ceases to amaze her. she wonders, furtively, whether, had she still been actively looking, would she have found, this time? it seemed like he was her reward for not looking, that he'd been waiting for her all along, she just had to do (or not do) certain things in a certain order at a certain time. like an accidental secret level: you weren't looking for it because you didn't know it was there, so it revealed itself when it deemed you worthy.